Living in Love
Every day a new gift is offered. Sometimes that gift is insight, other times it is peace or relaxation. Once in a while, the carte du jour is nothing short of a miracle. And that is where the heart opens and love steps in.
For the longest time, I have felt so out of sorts, that my life was only about distractions and taking care of everyone else, with no time for me. Then one day I was talking with my son and he reminded me that only I can make time for me and until I do, I will continue to allow my life to be filled with distractions. So I began to ask for focus, which included a place or subject upon which to focus. I asked for the time and purpose to focus on the next phase of my life.
The chaos in and around me seemed to intensify! I thought to myself, "This isn't what I asked for!" I asked for peace and a sense of focus. As the drama and chaos unfolded and played out, I realized that this was the path to clearing the distractions and chaos. As I was once again reminded, "out of chaos comes harmony." And there it was. Peaceful, joyful, harmonious FOCUS!
Something that happened in this process was the ability to recognize chaos as the clearing dynamic. Instead of cursing it, I began to embrace it. Again, that was where love stepped in with infinite potential and possibilities. As I opened more fully to love, it seemed like every fear I had ever had showed its ugly head. I was reminded of my deficiencies, my shortcomings, my inferiority. This was the perfect time to review. Sometimes that was simply looking at an unhappy, life-changing experience that shaped the fear or inferiority. Other times it was as simple as recognizing it as a fear, honoring that it had purpose but that I did not need to have it limit my life. Then it was simply like stepping out of a dress or piece of clothing, allowing it to drop out of my life with ease and grace.
Some days I find myself vacillating back and forth between acknowledging my higher purpose and suffocating from lack, limitation and a great need to practice continued patience. The greatest tool I have ever experienced is the gift of intuition. In those times when I feel the weight of the limitations of life, it is reassuring to be able to step back, breathe, and honor the inner voice as it asks me to recenter myself and listen, feel and allow. There is love again, open, honest and free. Life is then like sailing rather than having to break waves. It is like gently, yet powerfully drifting on a sea of glass, reflecting back to me what is obviously within me, that being Love.
All this reminds me of the labor process for a woman as she feels contractions, then relief. The contractions are like the chaos and limitations. And love is like the relief she feels in between each contraction, the joy of knowing that soon she will be holding in her arms one of life's greatest miracles, her newborn child. To me, this has always been my happy thought, beautiful, unconditionally loving children.
So life is very much a process of ebb and flow, feeling the chaos and then flowing with the love. As is life, we are ever-changing, ever-evolving. All the while, we are living in love.
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